I love hip hop. I truly do.
Know why I love hip hop so much? Because it's founded on a basic, essential principal...THE TRUTH.
Phrases like "Keep it Real" or "That's my Word" come to mind. Sure, along the way the truth may be stretched and often become WISHFUL truth, but none the less hip hop is always at very least en route to the realizing of SOME truth.
But oh no...not R&B. Every ounce of truth, and reality for that matter, are nowhere to be found and it seems the more absurd the lies, as long as they are sang in the most cry-babyish, desperate and helpless way possible, THE BETTER.
R&B dudes been lying from day one. Let's look at a couple examples from the past & present...
HEATWAVE - Always and Forever
I won't even break this shit down lyric for lyric. By virtue of the title itself, anybody that possesses at least ONE logical molecule in their brain should know this band was on some bullsh*t. I mean "Always" is a hefty enough claim as it is, but damn nigga...FOREVER?!? Not even Jesus told Mary Magdalene "I'm gone make sho we work this thang out and keep it goin..togetha....FOREVER". Even the good son from the big homie upstairs knew there was just certain sh*t you ain't supposed to say to no chick. It's no wonder it was written & produced by a white dude. White dudes been settin brothas up for falls since the beginning of time. Had these niggas sellin lies to our own people and we've sopped it up with cheddar biscuits for generations. My momma fell for it, and I'm sure plenty of ya'll momma's fell for this crap too. Songs like this are the primary reason for the over population of dumbf*ck crack babies who's souls never shoulda had a chance at life.
Bruno Mars - Grenade
This is the most inexcusable song I may have ever f*cking heard. This brotha is in need of therapy, a stylist and most importantly a damn strait jacket. (Notice at the :50second mark, even the homeless dude has the "WHAT THE F*CK?!" look on his face watchin this buffoon drag a piano uphill in the middle of traffic.) To fully understand the absurdity, you gotta fully comprehend the story the song is telling us. Young Bruno, while rocking that dumbass hat (designed by Douchebags&Dipshits) got the hunch that somethin wasn't right from the FIRST kiss, because her eyes were WIDE open. That's usually a sign that the person wasn't expecting that kiss. But for him to see her eyes open, HIS had to also be open. This is the first sign that this brotha is on some bullsh*t. (His hair was another clue as well...)
He then goes on to describe this chick as an abusive, self centered beeyotch that treats him like a science project; testing the limits of just how far CAN she sh*t on dude til he ultimately breaks. Then, like a piano falling from 12 floors up landing on guillotine above my penis, THE CHORUS.
"I'd catch a grenade for ya."
Wait...hold on, WHAT?!?!
Oh, but then it gets WORSE.
"Throw my hand on the blade for ya,
Id jump in front of a train for ya.
You know I’d do anything for ya.
See I would go through all this pain take a bullet straight through my brain.
Yes I would die for ya baby..."
See there's multiple problems here. First problem is he's obviously f*cking insane, or a pathological liar. If he's REALLY willing to do these things, the chick should run FAR away, get a restraining order and hope this kid gets HELP. If not, he's a liar and too damn desperate to EVER warrant her respect. I mean damn, JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN?!?! LOL...show me one chick that would fall for this sh*t and I assure you she'd be jumping right along with this fool. Which would prolly make the world a much better place...but I digress...back to the point.
My final issue with this song...is the very last line of the hook.
"but you won’t do the same."
WAIT...wait...wa...man f*ck it. Are you FOR REAL?!?! This broad has emotionally abused you, maybe physically as well, and you on some creative suicide sh*t...only to reveal to her (and the world) that YOU KNOW SHE WOULDN'T RECIPROCATE?!?! As if the song had ANY merit before this line, it totally throws even the old school R&B liars for a loop, I'm sure. I mean, dang can the b*tch at least be a cutter or SOMETHING?!? No? Nothin...? See what REALLY scares me, is if this sadistic b*tch really IS as abusive as he paints her to be, and he KNOWS this...why would he tell her he would even do this shit...FOR HER?!?
I admit, even I would feel compelled to call this jagwagon's bluff.
Man...that's enough for now. Maybe I'll dive deeper into other famous Lies of R&B. Or maybe some of ya'll will share your own that you find. But it's 4.30am, I'm sober, overtired and apparently over-analyzing what should in all honesty be outright ignored.
G'nite & G'moanin.