Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Why You Ain't Got a Man - You're Not Wife Material (part 3)
Some of you are already defensive.
Because YOU KNOW.
I don't mean it as a diss, just an observation. This is one of those things that more than likely somebody else will have to tell you, because most people can't see themselves for who they truly are. So, you may have to rely on an close friend to actually tell you the truth (which can be nearly impossible for a woman to have) or you may have to humble yourself and actually take your EX's word for it. But at the end of the day, some women are simply not meant to be wives. Not YET at least.
As a married man, that had been legitimately engaged twice b4, it wasn't until I met my wife that I realized something very important to relationships. Men may be the natural "leaders" of a home/family, but Women have a majority of the power in deciding how the pieces fit & interact with one another. No matter how hard one may try, a man can ultimately only be as much "a man" in a relationship as the woman's personality and temperament permit him to be. There's a certain balance of submissiveness and bitchiness that is ESSENTIAL to keep a man confident that he can trust and confide in his woman, yet also on his toes to know he can't just run any old bullshit play on her and still score.
In my honest opinion, if you're a 30yr old woman who is still mentally, emotionally and egotistically stimulated by the same things that stimulated those impulses in your 20's, YOU'RE NOT WIFE MATERIAL. Every man is different, but I ASSURE you that after speaking to quite a few men, single and married, Men notice and are NOT interested in the long run.
That's not to say the occasional trip to "the club" or out with the girls is the end all, be all. What I mean, are the multiple nights per week in bars. "Dating" men based on appearance MORE than substance. Mistaking being "f*ck buddies" as "dating" and grounds to segue into a relationship. Being more of a "homegirl" to your teenage son/daughter than a mother. Or more specifically...
Being more "Baby Momma" in stature, than "wife".
Think about it. I'm almost CERTAIN all of you have been in this scenario before. Same room, 2 different women. One is married in a relatively stable relationship. The other is a baby momma, perhaps fresh out of a or THE relationship with the kids father. Perhaps there never was a relationship, but she's still bitter about some things. Either way, the wife is typically of greater stature than the baby momma. Some women don't need to say a word. They can just walk into a room and command it...IN SILENCE. Others need the attention, and often the acceptance, of the people around them and aren't comfortable unless they're the center of attention. Guess which one is which, and which one YOU are. Be real...be honest.
I'm not gonna get any further into the psychological & personality aspects of it all. That's for your psychiatrist or social worker. And YES, I fully realize that I COULD'VE gone further in depth. But that would defeat the purpose of these writings I'm doing for those that need them.
In closing, what I'm saying is, men are far more keen to "what makes a woman tick" than most women are willing to give credit for. And because of this Male Intuition, guys aren't necessarily looking at you for much more than occasional nightlies.