Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Why You Ain't Got a Man - You're a Hoe

Yep. It's an extremely difficult thing for most women to accept, but on your path to discovering THE REAL YOU, some of you may find that you, in fact, are a hoe.

Hoe. Tramp. Floosy. Jumpoff. Bustdown. Cum-bucket. Smeeze. Skeezer. Skally-wag. Slut. Pass-a-round. Chickenhead. Slore.

These are all or some of the terms that at least a few of your male counterparts may have used when describing you to their homies or their girlfriends. And while VERY RARELY getting this reputation is unwarranted, quite often, it suits the carrier...

...PERFECTLY.

Just face it. The only people that say and actually expect OTHER people to live by the phrase "Let what happened in the past stay in the past" are people with unsavory pasts. From my personal experience, it's the chicks that have been ran thru by multiple guys in the same clique of friends, teammates, or co-workers. Also, it's chicks that got it in with a few guys that happen to go to the same club/bar as one another.

I know one chick in particular that not only smeezed her way thru a group of guys, (4 guys from the same clique, 3 of which within a month of each other. The last was years later.) but she also smeezed her way thru an apartment complex (3 more offenses) and added 2 family members of one of the guys from the initial group of friends.

I know, its wild...re-read it if you got lost for a second. This hoe...errm, CHICK was busy, as you can see.

The point is...while this particular chick's case is somewhat extreme, it's closer to typical than many women would ever admit. ESPECIALLY to the guy she's interested in dealing with long term. SHE knows it, but in order to sell the lie, she has to trick herself into believing the lie.

But in the end, MEN KNOW.

There's a certain unspoken, pheromone-like scent given off by HOES that most men are pretty keen on. There's some guys (simps) that simply don't care because The Thirst has a stronghold on their manhood. There's also the chance that you may live in a small to mid-sized city, where info on who smang'd who is more public knowledge than looking someone up on C-CAP. So, if you fucked some dude's homie, or dude he worked with, I assure you he eventually WILL find out.

Hell, at least half the time chicks tell on themselves. From the clothes you wear out, to the pictures you have on your social networking profile (especially the ever so classy "Bathroom Mirror, show off my cleavage and/or butt, while simultaneously hiding my GUT or turkey-neck pics), to the hoe-ass homegirls you surround yourself with. Birds of a feather, smeeze together. Any man that believes outta ur group of hoes that YOU'RE "the GOOD one", deserves every flame of crotch-blazing hell your jumpoff ass gives him.

Really, no guy wants to be walkin thru a mall, in line at the movies or God forbid, show up to a friend's wedding with The Hoe that half the groomsmen done been inside of. I'm not sayin you gotta be an angel, because most men are fairly realistic when it comes to sexual histories; particularly if you went to college. But if YOUR sex history rivals, or eclipses HIS? That's cause for pause.

So, cut the crap. Nobody outside of the "Sistagurl Support System" is gonna have any sympathy for you & your plight to downplay your slore-tastic past and find a man. And even the chicks in the SSS will call you a smeeze behind your back. The best bet you have is to basically, R&R. Relocate & Reinvent yourself. New groups of friends, new hang out spots...and if your case is extreme enough, an entirely new CITY, where NOBODY knows your name.

But lets face it, you are who you are. And men know that too. Once a hoe, ALWAYS a hoe. No theory outside of basic math is 100%, but most of you reading this aren't exactly top 2-percentile types either.

Because if you WERE, you'd have a man.

5 comments:

  1. ...ironic coming from someone who once told me "being good" was overrated. Awesome. HAHAH!

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  2. LOL...you misunderstood...

    "being good" and "being good at being bad" are two different things! You can "be bad" and not be a hoe...and as a reformed hoe myself, I can say that honestly wit a str8 face. LOL

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  3. "especially the ever so classy "Bathroom Mirror, show off my cleavage and/or butt, while simultaneously hiding my GUT or turkey-neck pics"

    Lol - Damn that brutal...and very funny.

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