Pink Slips IV - The Good Guy Myth
I used to be a good guy at one point in time…. Back in those days I could honestly say I enjoyed doing things for my potential girlfriends like writing unique poetry from the heart, holding hands, taking long walks and saying super corny shit that at that time I thought was clever and cute…. Those days are gone now and honestly, I can’t blame women on this one…. No wait, YES I CAN!!!
Back when I was a young teen I had a friend, who we’ll call Jason that has always treated women like the dust you shake off your boots, while I always held women to a high esteem and put them on pedestals and wished them to be like goddesses. Around that time we both had girlfriends that would come and go. The only difference was that he had to drive his girlfriends away nearly beating them with sticks and call screening them, while I was writing letters trying to find out why they felt it necessary to cheat on me. The most common response, if I got one at all, was that I was too nice. Can you believe this bullshit!?!? TOO NICE!?!?!? Who says that shit!?!?
I sat down with my friend Jason and asked him why was it that his girls always had to be removed and why mine just drifted away. He told me that it was because I was a Casanova and he was a “Dog”! He explained to me that women lacked the capacity to appreciate a good guy and so he refused to waste his time being one. He also told me that his beliefs were confirmed simply by watching our dichotomy.
That’s when the asshole was born. My idea of a relationship was turned upside down and basically I learned that in order to KEEP a relationship I had to act like I didn’t want one. If I wanted to keep a girlfriend, I had to act like she was replaceable! The fucked up part of that is that all that acting I was doing soon became second nature. And soon after that I had lost most of my respect for the female gender and it BECAME my nature.
Let me explain it to you this way – I used to WANT to be romantic, hell I was a walking romance novel!!! Gave flowers and cards all the time, a complete gentleman, walked a lady to the door, always opened doors, created poetry, paid for dates etc… there was nothing I wouldn’t do for a girl back then. However, I never came across a girl that could or WOULD appreciate it! No matter how much of a sweetheart I was, no matter how nice I was, no matter how much I treated them with love and respect, they would always either cheat or leave cause I was TOO NICE!!!!
So I came to the conclusion that women don’t really want nice, they want DOGS and assholes! So the next time you find yourself saying some kind of bullshit like “where are all the good guys in the world” look around you! We’re right in front of your face dressed like the asshole you see before you - and you picked out our clothes!
SO, to the women in search of a “good man” - I’m sorry, but your services are no longer required. Thank you for your time and you’re fired!!