Real Talk With Raze - '13 Reasons...' sorta review and sh*t

Suicide is a terrible be honest, it's a fate that I at one point or another have actually considered, myself. However, while there's a figurative (and sometimes literal) 'shared responsibility' for someone committing suicide, the balance of that sharing is often skewed. Every single case is different, and because of this, the generic, one size fits all categorizing that we attempt to instill on one another makes healing, before during and after a loss, much more difficult.

During '13 Reasons Why', Hannah asked a question...and it was in my opinion the most poignant moment of the show: "Why didn't you tell me this when I was alive?". It's the most simple, basic and fundamental regret or 'what if?' we're faced with in the wake of loss. Yet, it's often the least discussed...fear is a terrible thing. But, unless we hate ourselves, there should never be a moment where truth is not sought after, and fought for. Life isn't nice...people aren't nice. Hannah dished out her own fair share of bullshit, putting completely thoughtless negative energy and rhetoric onto quite a few people that simply and genuinely wanted to help HER....or for her to just love them for who they were; flaws and all. But then, Hannah took the chicken shit way out and killed herself...leaving behind a cookie crumb trail of mystery, 'who-dun-it' drama, and worse than anything, life altering stress and trauma, on a group of people she simultaneously felt she was helplessly prisoner to and victimized by.

I see '13 Reasons Why' as the greatest tragedy; one of inevitability and nature. We all have our little corners of the world that we occupy and for the most part, try our best to covet and protect. But all of our lives share the same inevitability of intersect with some other unique beings...each carrying their own stories, experiences and baggage. How much of that baggage we take with us after these intersects is up to us tho, to process, absorb and discard. Often, whether we realize it or not, we lose control of the single thing we most desire: CONTROL. Because the truth is, that none of us are in control...we ebb, we flow....we bounce, we dip.....we rise, we fall. Tis, the nature of life. A ride, we all hop onto differently...and finish just the same.


Oh other thing. About that shared responsibility thing: I personally and intimately know 1st hand how IMPOSSIBLE it can feel to ask for HELP. Seriously...I did NOT want to miss this part because it's the most important piece of this. People have their own shit to deal with, and more often than not, just don't have the additional bandwidth necessary for extra-human empathy. But, for as weakened by BS as we all get sometimes, it is STILL up to us to find that last bit of SOMETHING to change the tide. And a lot of times, that means opening our mouths and spelling that shit out. Because again, if people weren't open enough to see any 'signs' that we feel we may or may not have been sending out...they damn sure are likely to need some sort of vanilla 4yr old speak way for us to say "No, I'm seriously feeling fucked up about life and shit....can you please help me, help myself?". I swear to you...if this hits the right person's ears, it will help. But, it most things.....has to start internally....with US.